Get out there!

Should I go out? No definatley not! But I think I kind of want to. That doesn't matter, don't do it! Good point, looks dangerous doesn't it, and this is our last day, no need to get hurt on our last day, especially when tomorrow we start peddling our carcusas 1500 miles north from GA to NH. Holly Shit! Did you just see that guy on that wave, it was enourmous! And he just got completely wiped out. Wooo, check out the next wave in the set, it's even bigger and someone is going, hollllyy ssshhiiitt! Nice wave!  he even made it, wouzers! I have to get out there!  But remember what happened your last day in Indonesia, don't wana repeat that. Leash snapping first wave, big wave, ¼ mile out to sea, that was scary, real scary, and hello you were in your 20's then, you are not in your 20's now. Fk, ok, good point I certainly don't want to repeat that...Or do i? I mean, I lived, it was exciting, once id made it back to shore i had a good story to tell rachael.  I don't think I'd take the experience back; infact, no way would I take it back, does that mean I should do it again; well not deliberately of course, no one's gunna let their leash break to find out if they can really swim to shore.  But should i go out with the distinct possibility of that happening. Ahh, we've been standing here watching these waves for an hour. If you are going to do it, do it! Does seem to be getting better out there.  I wish I had 'my' surfboard here, but instead our two good boards are on their way back to NH, curtasy of the parents, and all we've got for our last few hours in PR is this fat, wide, little wave board that we only take out when it is tiny. Just brought it along incase the surf was small and we wanted to take turns in the little waves. Not the case, not at all. Numbly all I've also got is this narrow gauge competion leash, I sent the other two bigger wave ones with the boards, sht!! That means if I go out the board is going to be difficult to duck dive and if I fall the leash will probably break, arg.
Look, you've got to surf two or three times a day for the past month, you've had an amazing trip, countless waves, neither of us have been hurt, lets keep it that way, just pretend like you don't have that crappy board in the car with you and enjoy watching the other guys out there. Ok, breath deep, enjoy the show… nooooo I absolutely do not enjoy watching other surfters get bigger and better waves then im getting.
I feel like im going crazy here! I have to get our there! Fk it! I'm going out! My mind is made up.  Instantly now I've got to visit S.P.S. one last time. Digger rock is still there, sniffie dog and police man apparently didn't take it as evidence, haha.
Wax up, rashie on, toes in the water, one last chance to reconsider, no way, it is on! "Try to time it right" hollers Rachael from the beach. Good idea, that is the way we, as surfers, always try to do, time your entry into the water to coenside with a lull in the waves so you can make it out the back with out being munched. But how in the heck am I supposed to do that, out the back is a ¼ mile straight out into the middle of the ocean. Paddling that far could very well take me 20 minutes or longer depending on how 'lucky' or 'unlucky' I am at timing my entry.
Another surfer walks by me and plops in with out even scanning the horizon, that was dumb, I can actually see there is a huge set only minutes away, you are going to regret that.
I see my window, leap on and paddle like hell. My arms are going hard but my mind is clear, nows my chance to reflect, why am I out here when i could be safely on shore? Good question, maybe some desire to feel alive, which i do!
Duck dive, duck dive, duck dive, I hope a big one doesn't come, I hope a big one doesn't come, duck dive, duck dive, duck dive, I know this leash won't hold if a big one comes, duck dive, duck dive. Look over my shoulder to judge my progress, I'm getting there but the cross current has washed me a few hundred yards off point, Paddle, Paddle.
Hahahah, with a guilty feeling I make it to the spot where the other surfers are sitting.  Yes! Though this by no means guarantees my safety as they are only guessing too as to where the next set is going to break. And when you are a ¼ mile to sea and there is a cross current it is a total crap shoot. Though they do always love to sit in a pack, 'lemming', I think as I paddle another 50 yards further out.
Sitting up and glancing to shore, my lemming pack isn't much of a pack after all, infact there are only three other guys in the water, all on really long big wave boards, they smile and nod as I look their way. I take it back, you're not lemmings, sorry boys, infact, 'did they just nod and smile' you seem like nice guys. Surfing bigger waves is weird, there are 50 plus people on shore watching thinking about going out but once you take the risk and make it out the back and there are only four of you, you feel a kind of bond with the other people in the water. 'Hey brothers' I think as I nod back.
Then the waves start rolling through, no time for nestalga now! I am talking big walls of water, if I tried to describe how big it felt youd for surly think me a fool so I won'Should I go out? No definatley not! But I think I kind of want to. That doesn't matter, don't do it! Good point, looks dangerous, and this is our last day, no need to get hurt on our last day especially when tomorrow we start peddling our carcusas 1500 miles from GA to NH. Holly Shit! Did you just see that guy on that wave, it was enourmous! And he just got completely annialiated! Wooo, check out the next one in the set, it's even bigger and someone is going, hollllyy ssshhiiitt! Nice wave! And he even made it, wouzers! I have to get out there! Remember what happened last day in Indonesia, don't wana repeat that. Leash snapping first wave, big wave, ¼ mile out to sea, that was scarry, real scarry, and hello you were in your 20's then. Fuck, ok, good point I certaintly don't want to repeat that! Or do i? I mean, I lived, it was exciting, I don't think I'd take the experience back, infact, no way would I take it back, maybe that means I shold do it again; well not deliberately of course, no one's gunna deliberately let their leash break to find out if they can really swim to shore. We've been standing here watching these waves for an hour. If you are going to do it, do it! Does seem to be getting better out there. Ahhhhh! I wish I had 'my' surfboard here but instead our two bigger wave boards are on their way back to NH, curtasy of the parents, and all we've got for our last few hours in PR is this fat, wide, little wave board that we only take out when it is tiny. Just brought it along incase the surf was small and wanted to take turns in the little waves. Not the case, not at all. Numbly all I've got also is this narrow gauge compition leash, I sent the other two big wave ones with the boards, shit!! That means if I go out the board is going to be imposible to duck dive and if I fall the leash will probably break, arg.

Look, you've got to surf two or three times a day for the past 34 days, you've had an amazing month, countless waves, neither of us have been hurt, lets keep it that way, just pretent like you don't have that crappy board in the car with you and enjoy watching the other guys out there. Ok, breath deep, enjoy the show… nooooo I absolutely do not enjoy watching other surfters get bigger and better waves then me.

I am going crazy here! I have to get our there! Fuck it! I'm going out! Instantly now I've got to visit S.P.S. one last time. Digger rock is still there, sniffie dog and police man apparently didn't take it as evidence, haha.

Wax up, rashie on, toes in the water, one last chance to reconsider, no f'in way, it is on! "Try to time it right" hollers Rachael from the beach. Good idea, that is way we, as surfers, always try to do, time your entry into the water to coenside with a lull in the waves so you can make it out the back with out being munch. But how in the hell am I supposed to do that, out the back is a ¼ mile straight out into the middle of the ocean. Paddling that far could very well take me 20 minutes or longer depending on how 'lucky' or 'unlucky' I am at timing my entry. Another surfer walks by me and plops in with out even scanning the horizon, that was dumb, I can actually see there is a huge set only minutes away, you are going to regret that.

I see my window, leap on and paddle like hell. Nows my chance to reflect, why the f am I out here? Good question, I have no idea, maybe some desire to feel alive, which you do, when you test yourself with the earth, but I am and there is no turning back, well actually I could easly turn back but I aint gunna, so I PADDLE! Duck dive, duck dive, duck dive, I hope a big one doesn't come, I hope a big one doesn't come, duck dive, duck dive, duck dive, I know this leash won't hold if a big one comes, duck dive, duck dive. Look over my shoulder to judge my progress, I'm getting there but the cross current has washed me a few hundred yards off point, Paddle Paddle.

Hahahah, with a guitty feeling I make it to the spot where the other surfers are sitting. Which by no means guarantees your safety as they are only guessing too as to where the next set is going to break. And when you are a ¼ mile to sea and there is a cross current it is a total crap shoot. Though they do always love to sit in a pack, 'lemming', I think as I paddle another 50 yards further out.

Sitting up, my lemming pack isn't much of a pack after all, infact there are only three other guys in the water, all on really long big wave boards, they smile and nod as I look their way. I take it back, you're not lemmings, sorry boys, infact, 'did they just nod and smile' you seem like nice guys. Surfing bigger waves is weird, there are 50 plus people on shore watching thinking about going out but once you take the risk and make it out the back and there are only four of you, you feel a kind of bond with the other people in the water. 'Hey brothers' I think as I nod back.

Then the waves start rolling through, no time for nestalga! I am talking big walls of water, if I tried to describe how big it felt youd for surly think me a fool so I won't. Go, yahoo, shouts another surfer to me as a peak comes my way, hhhoooolllyyy ssshhhiiiittt goes through my brain this time as I take the drop. My adrenalina is pumping and I'm prepared for something like a shark attack to take place, on the contrary, it is no different from surfing little waves, you've just got a huge wall of water to carve around on with a little more conciquence. Now I know why I'm out here, "THIS IS IT!" Just like in the dream only real this time! Another right, then a left, a really nice left! Then a huge one, I paddle, I'm not going to make it, I pull off, my board is sucked out from under me, for a moment I'm a plastic figure frozen in time, my board is on its way down while I'm perched atop the falls. Unfreeze, I back stroke like I've never backstroked before and luckily for me, the wave releases its tentacles and I shoot back, my board pops up as the giant rolls on. FEW! And the leash held! YES!

Another wave, paddle, drop, burry the nose, free fall, fuck! This is going to suck! 2.2 liters, that is the volume of air in my lungs, (I know because once I took a how big are you lungs test, mine were bigger then average) I'm going to need it, boom!, I hit the bottom of the wave, woosh, I'm ready for the wash cycle to begin, only…it doesn't, some strange current pops me up behind the breaking wave, that was a first, though it still has my board, my leg is being tugged pretty hard, certain the leash will break I close my eyes, only today really is my lucky day, my board pops and my leash is in tack, only it is 12 feet long instead of its usual 6. Typically they stretch and then recoil but this one's been overstretched and certainly won't take that kind of pull again. Which means, DO NOT FALL! Shit, that's a tough one, no one ever means to fall, sometimes it just happens.

You might think that I would have thought, I've had my rides, I've been luckly, this is my chance to get out surfboard intact and injury free. But surfers don't think like that so I paddled back out.

Another wave; turn off the back and what do I see but the largest wall of white water I've ever been placed infront of before. No way I'll be able to duck dive it, my board will be stripped, washed in, smashed on the razor sharp coral and I'll be a bobbing pea in a stormy fishbowl; or I could turn for shore, take a deep breath and hold on. I opt for the later, lots of times the wave will engulf you, strip your board any ways and you'll still be a lone pea but not this time, I'm spit out of the frothing giants mouth at mock 2 and I point for the 6 foot wide safe exit from the sea. I miss it and have to drift 10 minutes west to the only other safe exit, don't miss this one, I don't. A bit of blood on my ancle but other then that I'm fine, infact I'm much more then fine! I AM ALIVE and I KNOW IT! Wouldn't take that back for anything!!

As I get to the car Rachael gives me the thumbs up and sprints off in the direction I've just come, shouting she's going to try and save some guys board. That same set I got washed in on apparently snapped his leash and left him a lone pea. I feel bad but there is nothing much I can do to help my brother of the sea except wish him the same luck he'd wish me were our leashes swapped.

Rachael rescues his board, though its been severly bashed on the coral and he climbs safetly from the fish bowl. First thanking Rachael the next thing he says is, "gotta go find another board so I can get back out there!" Sounds like he wouldn't take it back either.

Love Mantis and Mango