A Minute in Time‏

Noon, it's 100F or at least it feels like it, we've had a headwind for 5 hours, the bikes are loaded down with extra food and water, we cycled 125km
yesterday, you get the idea, we are exhausted!  Coast into a tiny road side stall at a nondescript 't' intersection, no one else is around.  
Liberate two 8oz cans of iced coffee from the luke warm fridge and melt into the mini asian sized concrete bench, in the shade, out front of the shop, 
we look like we are sitting at one of those toddler picnic tables.  Blaring out of the shop is some Britney Spears gone Thai at such a volume you might 
have thought there was a teenie bop dance party going on, only there is no one else around but us and the shop keeper who is half asleep behind 
the counter.  Despite my rubber legs i'm almost moved to jump up and get down, only i refrain and just fester in my own pool of sweat instead.  
Then, as if we are the catalyst, people start arriving.  Truck after truck pull up, men hop out, find something they need in the nothing shop, hop 
back in and speed off. One particularly smiley guy grabs a bag of nothing dough treats, downs a couple and then passes the bag our way, and not as in 'hey these
are great, try one, you'll love em' more nonchalant like he doesn't know himself why he's stopped at this nothing shop, but he did and now he intends to pawn
off his purchase on anyone around, i think he even offered them to the shop keeper.  The crumbly cubes look about as un appetizing as they taste.  After
one small nibble and while he's got his head turned i drop the thing down the front of my shirt, it's one of those goofy bike shirts with elastic around
the waist, perfect i think, won't fall out onto the floor and they guy won't be the wiser.  Only then i have a crumbly bakery treat down my shirt breaking
to bits and sticking to my sweaty stomach, genius move i realize a moment to late.  Rachael on the other hand, a notch or two more clever then i simply
holds it discreetly in her left hand.  When the man turns back around we both give him the, 'ooohhh boy those were marvelous! thank you so much, but
please no more, we're absolutely stuffed' look.  
Moments later a gray haired grandmother and young child saunter over.  Just outside the shop the grandmother gives a massive dead grasshopper
a little flick with her flip-flop.  'Bzzzzztt' Bzzzzztt' the child lets out a giggle and the grandmother a jolly old laugh, like there is something
unbelievably histarical about a half dead grasshopper flopping around on the hot concrete.  Repeat, kick, giggle, laugh.  We couldn't tell what was so funny but 
couldn't help but laughing ourselves.  There we were sipping iced coffee, outside a nothing shop in the searing heat, on a miniature bench, deafened by 
Thai Britney, one of us with food down our front laughing at a half dead grasshopper.
What more could you ask for? 
Micah and Wiffie
This email brings us up to date, we are in Koh Lanta if you want to check our local

Machine Gun‏

Yah, my stomach hurt a little as we fell asleep but i certaintly was not expecting to wake up a few hours later reliving the movie "Alien", there was definately a creature trying
to claw its way out of my stomach.  Up i clambered and darted to the shared bathroom in the hall to use by newly learned 'pulling the trigger' trick which i had vowed to Rachael
i would never use again only 3 days prior.  Before doing so i stared at my own reflection in the mirror for a good 20 seconds, "do you really want to do this i asked"?  "No 
of course i don't came the white faced reply, but what choice do we have, there is an alien inside you, its him or us."  Lets say it was more like emptying a fully automatic weapon.  
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! (Rachael was right, no one in their right mind would want to see a video clip of that. Smart wife).  
I had been like a kit in the candy shop that night for dinner, there was a huge market on and we just did like the locals.  Eat a whole bunch of little things as we wondered around. 
Ahhhh was it the green curry, pork soup, fried tofu, deep fried tempura veggies, ice cream or the FingHAM doughnuts.  Some one save me!! Tomorrow i promise to only eat
PBnJ on white bread for the rest of my life.
Suprizingly i slept ok, even dispite the most god awful saggy bed.  Got up at 6:30am and aside from feeling like i'd had my stomach pumped and i was just about ready to implode i was ready to ride.
Even did our longest day to date, 125km, avg of 20km/h, max speed 57km/h, mind you we were lucky enough to have a tail wind. 
Micah and Wiffie!!! 

Rest‏

Feb 15, 2010
As you probably guessed "emptying the revolver" and then riding nother 50km on empty put me in ned of a rest day or two.  Now i'm thinking, 'maybe i didn't do that quite right? should my throat still be sore 2 days later? my stomach feels fine, i'm not sick, but that flappy in back of throat is not happy.'  Basically i would not reccoment 'pulling thr trigger' unless absolutly necessary, which in my case looks like maybe wasn't as Rachael was just as sick as me now she feels fine.
Regardless, woke up the next morning, hopped on a ferry to a beach infested paradise and here we've been for 2 days in our ocean side bungaloo, relaxing and listening to cashews
crash to the ground out of nearby trees.  Cashews crash to the ground, you question? Seems a bit extreme to use the word 'crash' wouldn't just 'fall be more apropriate?
Actually no it wouldn't as the cashew nut is cased in a hard green pod hanging from a rather large red fruit the size of a large pear.  When the wind blows pod fruit
and all come 'yes crashing' to the ground. Amazing! free cashews covering the ground, i know i thought the same thing.  Hacking the green pod did the trick and i had my very own
cashew nut, which tasted, yes, just like a cashew, only the oily secreation covering the nut given off by the pod was more like rubbing a red hot chili all over your lips and toung.
Turns out even the cashew nut has a natural defence.  
Speaking of Nuts!...now i know what your are thinking...maybe i should just get a new seat and stop complaining...get your mind out of the gutter...
On the ferry we met another cyclist, a french guy, who had 7 months previous left his home in france on a recumbent bike and headed west.  He had been
through 16 countries and was planning on continuing south to Australia where he would circumnavigate the place and then eihter fly home or maybe fly to 
Argentina and ride to Alaska.  Wooo! and we felt extreme for just the 8 days we'd done.  Insanely he hadn't spent a single night in a hotel/bungaloo/resort
he'd beenb campinbg the whole way, and by camping he said that sometimes he just slept atop the rice drying on the side of the road (so the dogs didn't bother him).
IE less then a meter from the wheel of trucks passing by.  He claimed the trucks never drove over the rice as there was always a pile of stick in front to deter the drivers from 
doing so.  Even in Bangkok he'd slept in some park.  Mind you his passport, wallet, money and creditcards were stolen, go figure.  He'd gone to the french
embasy w/o a cent and they said, 'to bad, deal with it, a new passport is 50 bucks', only he couldn't get a new atm card with out a passport and still they refused to help him, 
sent him back onto the street where he was picked up by the police for sleeping on a bench.  He told them his story and all the policemen pooled enough cash to get him a new passport.
Pretty incrediable story.
We'll do what we can not to repeate it!!
Micah and Rachael 

No more MSG please‏

I will never eat eight steamed dumplings covered in msg sauce from a stall on the side of the road for breakfast again!!!I will never eat eight steamed dumplings covered in msg sauce from a stall on the side of the road for breakfast again!!!I will never eat eight steamed dumplings covered in msg sauce from a stall on the side of the road for breakfast again!!!I will never eat eight steamed dumplings covered in msg sauce from a stall on the side of the road for breakfast again!!!I will never eat eight steamed dumplings covered in msg sauce from a stall on the side of the road for breakfast again!!!
Finally a torterous day to write about, things were going to smoothly, we must have been having to much fun, appears the 'fun god' caught word and smote us.
Geared up for our biggest day yet, we were going to be crossing the peninsula from the east side to the west side(Chumpon to Rangon for anyone who might care to check it out on google earth).  Up at a rediculous hour at least 5:30 seems rediculous to us, and we are the ones doing it.  Had no choice really as we were planning on riding 120km and it was rumored to be somewhat mountainous.  
We're flying, first tailwind of the trip, we knocked off 30km, all uphill, before breakfast.  Another 30, bang, done.  I think that may have been when the fun police go word, things were going way to smooth.  We enter this town with dozens of street venders all apparently selling the same food.  Only we couldn't tell what they were.  All the ladies had huge stainless steel pots lined up on cookers.  Then we pass a lady selling some, she's got the lid off and we peer in as we zoom by.  Rrrrrr, slam on breaks, "what was that?" Reverse! Emmmm!  "How much?" "10 cents."  "serve us up a plate of those dumplings, they look great"  ooo and they tasted great too!
Km70, Rachael feels like shit!  We rest in the shade of a bus stop, trying to escape, o yah i forgot to mention the 100 degree heat.  It's so Fing-HAM hot on the bikes it is hard to discribe, twill be perfect training for our Gobi desert trip next year though.  Rachael rests, i feel fine so stuff down a yoghurt and PBnJ.
KM75, ahhhh, i don't feel so good either.  
Km80, trying to decide if we have enough water to spare on me making myself vomit.  Yep we do (afterwards i though, shit, i should have had Rachael video that. "no on want to see you vomit on video Micah, what on earth is wrong with you.")
Now i know why they call it "pulling the trigger" tap that little flappy way the hell down your throat and ka-boom there is vomit all over the place, including your arms and feet.  I might even have to rename it 'emptying the 6 shooter' as that's how may times i had to pull the trigger to empty my stomach.  Not sure i would reccomend it.
Needless to say the next 40km were hellish but we did make it!
Micah and Wiffie.
 
photos,
A golden jump, we were totally lost on back roads and just came across this awesome buda sculpture
Any electrictions looking for work, every power line looks like this.

We don't get to the internet everyday so i've sent 2 at once, maybe save this one for tomorrow, :)

Day 7 Since leaving Bangkok on the bikes.

Finally the wip crackin Wiffie of mine has let us take a rest day, fewwww!!!!!  We seriously needed it.  The cycling itself is going great but jumping on the bikes afger not having been on them in three months was starting to take its toll.  Not so much on our legs, though most mornings it feels as though someone has replaced my pencil stick legs with hunks of lead, the issue is more with our asses!  Something to do with the combination of sitting on bike seets 6 hours a day, the extreme heat, bike shorts, sunblock and gallons of sweat has turned my bum into what looks kind of like an adolescent teenagers pimple covered face, minus the nose, eyes and mouth of course.  I won't speak for my wifes bum as she surely would not approve but it does happed to look strangly similar to mine.  Not as in that riding bicycles in Thailnad has somehow mysteriously give us identical twin matching ass, that would be disconcerning indeed, i mean as in the red and irrated aspect.  (Don't tell her i wrote this).  Aside from the absurd ass aspect of this ardious adventure everything is going outstanding!  
Every break we take, after first fainting from exhaustion of course, we comment on how we wish everyone we know was here with us.  Cycling is truly a remarkable way to explore a country and culture.  It takes a bit of getting used to being pretty much lost al day and never really knowing if we are going to find a place to stay or if we are going to have to ride all night but after you get over that it is awesome.  It almost feels like less effort then if we did try to plan everything in advance.  Somehow it's as if we have a sign hanging over us exclaming, "Hello! I'm lost, please help me!"  As soon as we pull over and can't figure out where we are, even if on a diserted road, some one always pulls up on a motorbike exclaming, "hello, where you go?" Dispite this being there only 4 words in english and us only knowing how to say hello, thank you and count to 100 in Thai, we just mime putting our heads on pillows, or eating lunch or swimming and they point us in the right direction.  It is great!!
Micah and Wiffie

Day Three on the bikes, Not Run over by a Truck‏

Feb 6th, 2010, 3rd day on bikes
Hum?  So far i havn't been run over, mamedm had diharea, vomited, been stung, mugged, stabbed, or even had a flat tire, yet i feel like putting pencil to paper...what else could i write about...emotions?  doesnt sound like me does it, let have a go.
How many emotions can you have in one day on a bicycle?  I'm not sure lets find out....
 
Wake up on the 5th day of our trip, 3rd day on the bikes.  First decent nights sleep we've had since leaving home, didn't even have to wear ear plugs, a first of the trip.  It's 5:30am, still dark, excited to get started before the heat becomes oppressive, i'm feeling great (1).  Discover that during the night aints have infested our food bag so we throw it all away, rather annoied at the possibility of having canned tuna for breakfast (2).  In the saddle at 6:30am and the sun is already up, a little pissed as we really wanted to get some km's under our belt before the heat became opressive (3).  Find some mangos and museli, stoked we're not going to be eating my least favorite breakfast, tuna (4).  Ride the first 5km along the beach with zero traphic, stoked again, this is going to be a fantastic day (5).  Km6 brings us to the freeway, divided with 2 lanes in each direction, still there is a massive shoulder and the traphic is very tolerent, giving lots of space, plus lots of people smile and wave, ambivolent really (6).  Km50 still on the freeway, nearly sweating to death, dead flat, havn't shifted gears once, and there is a headwind, i am F-ingHAM pissed off, ready to give up, what in the F-ingHAM are we doing here, Thailand Sucks! Seriously ready to hop on a train (7).  Stop for a cold sprite, shop is closed, stop for an iced coffee, same story, now i'm even more pissed then i was, just about to give up (8).  Try again for a Sprite, end up with a huge plat of chicken, sticky rice, veggies, a bowl of ice and the friendlyiest people on earth, this definatley takes the edge off, though i'm not stoked (9).  Discover a side rode that just might potentially get us off the freeway, or it might dead end meaning we'll have to turn around and retrace our steps, doing an extra 30km and putting us right back on the highway exhausted, i'm nervious (10).  The road is beautiful, there are some minor elevation changes, a first, pinaple plantations in the forground and limestone peaks in the distance, scared to enjoy it, (11).  The road pans out and we find a coffee shop with delicious iced coffee, i'm getting back in the groove (12).  The road continues to be quiet and beautiful, ok i'm happy again (13).  Pop out onto the coast and the beach is absolutly georgous!  Island surround, find a bungaloo with ac and a king sized bed for 20 bucks, Now i know why we are here (14).
Fourteen i guess.
Micah and Wiffie

MICAH MCLANE AGAIN, SO SOON?

o yah, we are pedaling from Bangkok to Singapore then flying to Indonesia and Surfing, come join us!!! let us know where and when you can meet up

Sitting down, trying to pick a meal from this 36 page menu and jesus i just can't make up my mind, it's a 50/50 toss up between the Baked Surpent Head Fish Country Curry and the Fish Intestine Curry and Vegetables.  First day on the bikes, sitting in this little wooden closet of a resturant next to a blue stagnant cespool of a stream and just can not decide.  Ohh come to think of it i don't really feel like Serpent Head or Fish Intestine at all.  Waitress: I'll have the Spicy Fermented Egg Salad and Jungle Curried Spotted Feather Back for the lady.  

Ok, i'm lying we ordered the the Fried Chicken with Cashews and the Spicy and Sour Chicken Galengal in Coconut Milk but Serpent Head, Fish Intestine, Spicy Fermented Egg and Spotted Feather Back were actually on the menu, under the 'reccomended' even, em.

Maybe it was partial delerium from pedaling our bicycles for the first time in 3 months during the heat of the day, 95 degees.  But the more times i read the menu the funnier it seemed, i actually started laughing out loud.  I was picturing the lockness monster, head lopped off, eyes googling out of the bowl and just a huge pile of fish guts, lightly steamed over a bed of white rice.  

Some more about the heat; it was so damn hot we each drank 4 liters of water, one Sprite, one hydration drink and half an iced tea and i only urinated(i was tempted to write pissed but decided i'm more mature then to write piss in an email, piss).  So hot we couldn't stop riding for if we did the cooling breeze would cease, sweat would pool up in our shoes, spilling out over the sides leaving the road greesy with sunblock and sweat and we'd then we'd slip and fall over.  

"What in the F-ingHam are you two up to?" you ask.  "Good question," come a reply.  We are asking ourselves the same thing.  Back in NH at -10F riding our Bicycles from Bangkok to Singapore seemed like quite the nice warm relaxing idea, looks like it might be more of a test then we anticipated, we like tests!

Micah and Rachael

MICAH MCLANE SAYS We's Here, Dis AINT BLOODY JUNK‏

Feb 1st, cold as shit, drive to Boston, told could not go as no proof of onward travel, "what the hell do you think these bikes are for Miss?", argue, get manager, told same thing, charge $5,000 bucks on the credit card for return flights, rediculous, fully refundable we are told, bloody better be, fly, fly, fly, Gin and Tonic, 2 sleeping pills, 27 tortous hours later land in Bangkok, midnight, hour taxi, hotel reservation as been given away as we are to late, bull we told you we'd be there at 2am, still looking for a room an hour later, full everywhere, about to use bike boxes as beds and sleep in an alley, find a room, ssslllleeeepppp, kind of, jet lag, wake up at 7am. Mangoes, papaya, pinaple, banana, dragon fruit, homemade yogurt, 1 dollar, 10 million people, amazing food, rotting garbage, street dogs, sewage, homeless people, friendliest culture on earth, 95 degrees, sweat, bed at 8pm, up at 4am, explore, temples, palace, monks, huge wooden penis, water taxi, pad thai, stirfried rice, 1 dollar and 50 cents, assemble bikes, amazing hour massage, 6 dollars, green curry, bed, up at 5am, load up bikes for first time, man with no hands, car dodging, drag bike up flights of stairs, highway, 6 lane roundabout, rickity local train from 1930's, small local ferry, another local train,k amazed we did not come off the track it was such a pos, another ferry, 12pm, sprite, sunblock to mix with city grime and sweat, friendly man walks up and gives us delicious new fruit, load up, moment of truth, pedal off into the searing sun.  

Micah and Rachael