A Fish Story‏

Hola Amigos!!!!!

Hope everyone is doing Awesome!!!

Nope, fires aren’t that close to us, we’re safe!

Here’s a story you might like…and some photos to go…

Went for a hike out to an amazing headland with 100m sheer cliffs that dropped straight into the sea.  We could see some climbing bolts and belay stations but no climbers, had us thinking of some of you rock fanatics back home.

O yah this story has nothing to do with hiking, cliffs or rock climbers so I’ll get on with it…Packing for the trip to Tassie we’d borrowed some fishing gear from Rachael’s family, including a 9 foot long 6 pronged spear for impaling fish, they call them Hawaiian slings.  They are for use when you are snorkeling, basically the thing just has a huge rubber band on one end, when you see a fish you load up the rubber, aim, release and the fish is yours, at least in theory, I’d never actually used one before. 

I felt a bit silly as we walked past the other campers holding my snorkeling gear in one hand and a 9 foot spear in the other.  But then I thought, hey I don’t look any sillier then they do standing on the boat ramp haphazardly casting little metal hooks willie nillie into the sea in hopes they might catch the attention of a fish passing by.  No, in fact I just might look like I know what the hell I’m doing, huntin fish that is.

Pulled on the wetsuits, fins, mask, snorkel and spear and plopped in the ocean.  The visibility wasn’t great but it was good enough we could see the immense 10 meter deep blue kelp forests the area was famous for, we could also see some smaller plant life including some beautifully bright green sea lettuce but no fish, none, not even little ones.  That didn’t really matter, the sun was out, it was a beautiful day and we were getting to do some snorkeling. 

“Mabee eee ould ooo in osser aaa orr,” hooted Rachael through her snorkel. 

Easier said than done, as we tried to get closer to shore the kelp go so thick we couldn’t hardly get past it, we had to look for narrow corridors void of kelp we could pass through. You always hear about divers getting tangled up in thick kelp and having to cut themselves free which we hoped wasn’t going to happen as we didn’t have a knife, would a had to have to chew our way out.  Just as I was skimming over the top of some plant life I spotted something, “ahh ha, your mine” I thought as I pulled back the spear.  Possibly I might have been a bit over enthusiastic as I hadn’t even figured out what the creature was I was about to spear yet. 

Armed and ready to fire…wait a minute, what the f--- am I looking at?  Ah, a huge eel, nice I bet we could eat that, emm eel steaks, only how do you cook a 3 foot eel?  The tip of the spear only inches away from the unsuspecting creature…only if it’s an eel where is its head.  I can’t see any mouth or eyes?  Ooo it’s not an eel..ahh it’s a sea snake,  f--- me, aren’t see snakes poisonous, is it going to attack as soon as it notices me, hopefully it can’t bite through two layers of wet suit, shit, should I just spear it now so it can’t attack?  Hold on…if it can’t be an eel because it doesn’t have a head it certainly can’t be a snake either.  Come to think of it, this thing is floating vertically and I can’t even see the other end that disappears into the kelp, is this thing even an animal?  Maybe I should just give it a poke and see if it moves?  HOLLY F*&%ING SHIT!!!  Reverse!!!  Reverse now!!!  Hold on I can’t swim in reverse!  Fuck!  OK turn around slowly, very slowly, don’t bump it with the spear, stay calm, signal to Rachael to turn around too!  Breath deep, shit balls!!  Keep swimming, don’t look back! 

Glad I didn’t tap it, the Sting Ray that got me in El Salvador was probably only the size of an Aunt Jamima pancake, that one was 6 feet long not counting the  3 foot tail, that’s a 9 foot sting ray, ahhhh.   Get me out of here.

“Ut append, how um u urned uround” hooted Rachael. 

Relating what I’d just seen we decided maybe we’ll start to head back, doesn’t seem like the kind of place fish hang out any ways. 

“Ahhh Bla Blaaa AAA” I hear Rachaels snorkel say.  As I look back she’s pointing at two fish that haven’t noticed us, they’re just cruzin by.  No idea what kind they are but certain they are editable, pull back, aim, fire, smack, there’s a respectable looking fish stuck on the end of my spear. 

“Ha, yes, wo hoo, you got him, we’re having fish for dinner” Rachael’s chanting as she does a swimming victory dance.  I on the other hand am slightly dub founded, yes I definitely want fish for dinner but I don’t think I actually thought I’d hit it first try, and it’s far from dead as I hit in the middle and not the gills.  It’s flailing all over the place trying to get free, blood going everywhere. Here’s where you’re supposed to have a mesh sack you put the fish in and trail a ways behind you with a rope so if your unluckily enough to be spotted by a shark passing by he goes for the bloody fish in the far off bag and not the bloody fish in your hand.  We had brought a plastic bag just in case we got a fish but as this one was far from dead and of course we didn’t have a knife to finish it off either I figured I’d just leave it on the end of the spear flailing around leaving a nice trail of blood.  One fish was all we needed for dinner anywho.

Shark!!!  Shrieked Rachael as she swam on top of me, pushing me underwater.  For a second I thought, hoped maybe she was joking, but even through the mask I could see in her eyes she wasn’t, she was white.  “4 feet long and this big around,” she was saying, holding her arms in a hoop just about as big as they’d go. 

Maybe I can stab it with the spear if I have to, I thought, though its gunna be difficult with this flailing fish on the end, sticking my head back in the water I looked around…no shark that I could see…maybe he was behind me…I spun..Nope couldn’t seem him there either, must have just swum on by.

Let’s get the hell out of here we thought simultaneously, booking it back to shore holding the spear as far out of the water as I could.  Rachael just hopped out onto the rocks but I couldn’t, still holding the dam spear but wanting to get out of the water asap I basically just got up some speed and beached/battled rammed myself up onto some seaweed and sharp barnacles. 

Thanked the fish for letting us eat him for dinner, chopped off his head, gutted, scalled, wrapped in aluminum foil and chucked on a bed of hot coals.  Ooo Yes it was good. 

Back to NH in 6 weeks, time flies!

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