Gun man

> --'CRACK!' A deafening shock wave shatters the still afternoon silence. Instantly we are both face down in the sharp thigh high grass. "What the fuck was that? Holly shit that guy leaning out the window right there just fired his riffle! Lets get the f out of here!" Army crawling we sneak back into the thick wall of jungle from which we've just emerged, snap to our feet and book it. Not that there is any need as the jungle is so thick there is no way the gun man would have any bloody idea where we've gone but the adrenaline is pumping so run we do. Back through the spiky vines, past the thorny trees and over the rust barbed wire Rachael previously cut herself on, to the edge of the ravine we'd just scaled and where I'd said," good thing we arnt gunna have to decend this thing, might be impossible!" --

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> On our 22nd day in paradise it happened, (no the swell didn't die), i rolled out of bed, my sholders sounding like unoiled wwll tank treads, and feeling the same way, i declaired," TODAY WE ARE RESTING!" With no voiced opposition the declaration was ratified and we promptly fell right back to sleep. Yes!

> Only after some food and caffeen, what were we to do? I was totally fine with a rest day from surfing but not a rest day from adventure! Every idea we came up with had to be shot down simply because they all involved driving, and getting in the car on a rest day just seemed wrong. Hum?... That didn't leave many options, snorkeling or walking and there was to much swell for snorkeling so all we had left was walking. We'd already walked west...we'd already walked east...we wernt walking north unless Mosis showed up but we hadn't walked south. And, well, that was for the obvious reason as south of us there was one small road to cross and then untamed jungle, and from the looks of it about half mile or so back the jungle went vertical, up an imposing band of cliffs which were topped with a string of million dollar mansions.

> "Rachael, grab your flipflops, we're going south; in hindsight I'm not sure why we did not bother to consider trading our flipflops for some real foot wear, maybe simply because we hadn't unpacked them yet, but we didn't.

> "Ha, this is going to be easy, look I've already found us a track!"

> "Some track huzzie, more like a dump!"

> "What's that? Oh, yah, a fridge with its shell torn off leaving exposed yellow foam insulation. Eww, a decomposing trash bag filled with baby dipers! Yuck!" Microwave, printer, bags of leaves, an old phone, tv used for target practice, cans, the springs of an incenerated bed.

> "I'm sure glad we didn't go to the waterfall, or the caves, or the worlds largest radio telescope, or snorkeling, or god forbid layed on the beach and read our books!"

> Lucky for me the trash heap dried up and our surroundings began to resemble real jungle, complete with everything a proper jungle should have, including a seemingly outrageous number of vines, of the large, small, thick, skinny, prickley, spikey, and stingy variety. We wern't simply walking, more like someone from one of those Matt Damon heist films thats released dryice smoke so that they can see all the red lazer beams they have to contort themselves around to succesfilly snatch the jewles. Over, under, around, through, snag, ouch, wait for rescue,as people with long hair seem to get caught more often then those with shorter hair.

> Lookie, lookie here. Another path, or do i mean...road. Hum, that is odd, seemingly growing from nowhere we are on PR widest and smoothest, doubble yellow lined freeway. Keep right wouldnt want to encounter any oncomming traphic. Not much debate, its a lot easier then tromping in the jungle so we follow. How bizare, it goes for a few hundred meters and then ends as abruptly as it began, only it dumps us into a field of chest high jungle grass. Seems like the road was part of some development that never got off the 'vine' and our field is clear cut jungle housing plots that never got built on.

> The grass is alarming to walk on, its substructure is so intertwined that it can support our weight and gives the sensation of walking on a squishy cloud except that you never really know when there might be a cloud void and sometimes your legs just disapear. 'So glad we're not wearing shoes!'

> Wild bananas and papayas, yum yum! Now a meir hundred feet from where the jungle goes vertical and then with out warning the cloud density begins to exponentially decrease with proximity to the cliff. All four legs vanish and the only thing keeping us from dropping right through is our crotches, 'i knew my huge crotch would prove useful one of these days!' We've discovered where they piled the clearcut jungle, directly underfoot. Parting the grasses and peiring down we can see voids large enough for genuine Hudenie disapearing acts, zouzers! On all fours the going is much easier.

> Now for the up and up, beer cans and cement blocks are testimate to the explorers who have braved this nasty ravine before us. OUCH! Flipflops provide little protection from the tangle of rusty barbed wire Rachael has just discovered.

> Slip, skid, grab, pull, slide, crouch, duck, yank, bob, wieve, tumble, horizontal, we made it, no rock climbing moves necessary, that wasnt so bad. There is daylight beaming through the dense jungle just ahead.

> Miraculously we managed to pop out in one of the empty fields surrounded by ceo second homes, how lucky, the view is spectular, the going is easy, none of the homes even appear occupied, we have got full run of the place. Over, under, around and through barbed wire fences, past an old PR man tending his crops who looks up long enough to say 'buena', and past another young man calling his cows to change fields. Back on some side streets we clock up 5.37 miles, of course i brought a gps, haha, before we bump into our surf buddy who offers us a ride home, we graciously accept, thanks Edwin.

> Bakery time!

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> Later over lunch upon discribing where we'd just ventured our waitress exclaimed," i know just where you were, i live right by there, you are lucky that guy wasnt home, he has threatned trespassers in the past, nasty man!"

> So where does the alledged gun man sceen come into play you ask? Haha, actually it doesn't...that was a bit of parallel universe hypothetical extrapolation bullshit! But if you read this far then the gun man scene served its purpose, make a surf bums life sound a bit more thrilling.

> Love Mantis and Mango

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